Life Outside the Classroom

“Listen–are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?”
― Mary Oliver


The beginning of the school year always hits me with a wave of exhaustion. I try to be gentle on myself, after all, it is a shock to the system after several months of being out of the classroom. As I near turning fifty, I am noticing that it takes a little longer for me to bounce back. This year, even more so, because of the Coronavirus pandemic. In our district, we closed up our buildings mid-March and returned in September. I have never been so happy to return to work!

It has been quite an adjustment for me wearing a mask all day while teaching. While we try to build in short mask breaks outside for our students, we have been presented with many extra challenges that has altered our teaching routine. However, I have reminded myself many times that going back to work is always a big adjustment in contrast to my summer routine. Yet, teaching is my calling. I cannot imagine doing anything else.

Last Monday was definitely a Monday. Even though this is my 20th year of teaching, each Sunday night I still get that anxious feeling. I didn’t get enough accomplished at home. I didn’t get enough school work accomplished. I am sure I am not alone.

At the end of the school day Monday, when my stepson Lukas came into my classroom, I let out a huge sigh. He too looked tired. So we both sat down and I told him a story.

When I was in college, I worked as a waitress at Marc’s Big Boy in the Grand Avenue Mall in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Two sweet little old ladies used to come in and order “dessert first”. They’d gossip, cackle, and enjoy their hot fudge sundaes. Then they would order dinner (usually meatloaf or liver and onions). I knew to deliver their dinner to their table in a to-go container.

“Amy,” they’d tell me, “when you are our age, you get to eat dessert first! Life’s short. If we ate our dinner we wouldn’t have room for dessert.”

I loved waiting on them and always looked forward to their sage advice.

I remember this job fondly, and all my shifts were not as positive as my weekly chats with these two sweet women. Yet, it was a formative and eye-opening experience for this small town girl. I was learning about life up close by serving the public. When I truly paid attention, people were serving me wisdom. At times, more so than my brilliant professors at Marquette University (that I didn’t nearly appreciate enough at my young age).

As a teacher I often sprinkle my lessons with stories like the one I told Lukas on Monday. I remind my students to pay attention to the world around them and the people they meet. To listen to the stories of their grandparents tell and to talk to their parents. To not just answer questions with a shrug and single word response. To be engaged, alive, and connected.

To pick their heads up out of their digital devices and to listen more.

To pay attention to the wisdom glittering all around us.

Not everything we learn comes out of the classroom.

Truth-be-told, some of the most vital life lessons happen outside of an educational institution. Yet, the key is finding ways to connect these nuggets of wisdom with our own passions and curiosity about the world. School gives us an opportunity to explore our strengths and weaknesses, it allows us to network, and build our knowledge and skill base.

Monday was a long day. Like my colleagues, I had a list of things “to do” that was a mile long. I could have stayed at school for several more hours and I still would not have been finished. But sometimes you have to take care of yourself, and your family, first.

I told Lukas him that I was cashing in my dessert first before dinner card.

So we did!

He happily obliged. 😉

A Chocolate Concrete Mixer with Cookie Dough.

Monday I made time for something sweet and time for play.

What could be better than frozen custard, a boy and his dog(s), and a gorgeous place than we can call home? We all need a sacred place where we can unwind and recharge.

When you get to be my age, you learn to appreciate it all.💚

Lukas with our House Wolf Apollo and my husband’s Work Wolf K9 Nitro.
Autumn has arrived on our farm and everything is burnished and beautiful.
Gray sky and sunflowers. Our lives are full of metaphors if we pay attention.
The ponds my husband built for me (and our ducks) are my happy place!
My hydrangea starts out with frothy white blossoms which turn rosy with tinges of auburn.
Two Good Boys. ❤
I may be tired and overwhelmed at times, but I have so much to be thankful for. I love my students and my job. What more could I ask for?

Lessons Learned Outside The Classroom

“We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.” ~ Stacia Tauscher

I need to write about this moment.

Writing helps us savor and even stop time. How fortunate we are to have language at our fingertips and tongues to help us remember.

Friends, you know what I mean when I say December is busy. John and I laughed a bit too maniacally when we looked at our shared Google calendar. Hockey practices and tournaments, school board functions, school concerts, holiday to-do lists, family court, appointments galore, K9 training, union duties, and endless daily work commitments (reports, logs, phone calls… ). Not to mention lesson planning, bottomless emails to answer, grading, building a house, snow removal, trying to cook and shop for healthy meals, and taking care of our fur and feather babies. However, we realize our obligations are important and we feel fortunate that our lives are so full.

It’s 10:30 as I type this and my dear husband is still removing snow in our driveway and on our property. Lukas and I left school/work today and made sure we had a hot meal for John when he got home from a 10 hour shift. We had a solid 15 minutes of family time before he left for school board duty. Of course he came home to accomplish more work.

I’ll be brutally honest, the last thing I felt like doing tonight was going shopping. However, Lukas wanted a tie for his Christmas concert at school. How could I say no to this sweet face? So his Aimster took him shopping! ☺️

He got the idea to wear a tie from hockey. Lukas noticed a few young men walk into the rink with dress clothes on. It made quite the impression on him.

Our astute, whimsical, and sensitive little guy is growing up. I try to be aware and make daily time for his questions and observations about the world. Each morning I contemplate what it would be like to be a Jurassic Park Ranger 😂, discuss things we hear on the radio, and help Luke interpret all of his bizarre, silly, and important dreams.

When he walks into my classroom at the end of the school day I try to be mindful of this precious boy I am entrusted with and place prime value on his needs. I try to remember to pause, look up, and step away from my computer. Even though my mind is still multi-tasking, I try to put my students, and my frazzled nerves, on the back burner and listen to the events that made up his day. Sometimes this means handing him a tissue to wipe tears, digging into the bottom of my purse to find change so he can go across the hall and buy a truffle from our French students, gently but firmly reminding him of the expectations that we have for him, and always it consists of telling him how proud we are of his contribution to his education and the world. Even when I am busy and overstimulated from a long day of encouraging teenagers to reach their potential — I have to put this young man FIRST.

Tonight Luke picked out this bow tie and shirt. He was a bit stubborn. I choose a beautiful chambray blue shirt that he wanted no part of. He wanted either white or black. However, he compromised with red. He admired himself in the mirror and without reluctance, and not the trace of an eye roll, posed for these photos. He agreed that this shade of scarlet was perfect for Christmas.

Thank you, Lukas for teaching me patience and for reminding me of what is important. Life is busy and full of things we must accomplish. Yet, let us not forget about the things that our hearts need to be happy. No, I’m not talking about material possessions. The experiences. The time together. The sacred moments.

Tonight I bought my dear step son his first bow tie. It may not mean much to many people – an article of clothing – an adornment. Though, to him it meant everything. A rite of passage. A symbol of growth and maturity. I think his sudden burst of confidence says it all.

This is a moment I will never forget.

Writing and remembering helps us savor and stop time. I love you, Lukas. ❤️

*Note – I posted this piece of writing on Facebook on December 10, 2019 and received a positive response from my tribe. I’ve been thinking about the spirit what I wrote it in over the past few days. As teachers I think that sometimes we make the mistake to put our own needs, and the needs of our family, at the bottom of our to-do list. 

We must remember our own children and spouses and make time for them. There are times when my step son is excited to share his day with me, or he’s upset about a challenge he faced, and sometimes I am overwhelmed and overstimulated from teaching 150+ teenagers. This piece is writing contains an important message. We must remember to stop and make time for those we love (and for ourselves). In turn, being mindful of our own needs will allow us to be better teachers.

I would love to hear from you and your experiences. What things do you do to renew your spirit and keep yourself grounded when your schedule gets busy and you feel overwhelmed. How do you make time for yourself and your family?

Lukas tolerates all the photos that I take. This one he proudly posed.

Lukas tolerates all the photos that I take. This one he proudly posed.